Birthday Week

Birthday Girl

I am continuing to do a poor job of journaling. I will try to do a better job. This past Wednesday was my Birthday Eve. I went with my homologues daughter to buy green beans and chickens. I bought so much food!

Racers pawprint and me

She was giving me a hard time because I didn’t want to hold the chickens. Can you blame me? I was thankful that they killed and plugged the chickens: My arms were already full of green beans, onions, and carrots. I didn’t know how I could carry six chickens too! Lindsay came in from her village, which I felt so honoured because she is pretty darn far away! Her village is a few hours away, and from the main road, she is another 40K!!! Lindsay and I helped snapped green beans. I kept on doing it wrong (I didn’t even know there was a right or wrong way!!!) I was exhausted, and quite thankful that some of Echins children cleaned my house for a birthday present! I was quite glad, even though I know they were probably appalled. But, I don’t have kids, a husband (despite my fibbing), and I have a job outside the home. My tutor informed me that most Malian houses are cleaned a few times a day, but again, a lot of times children jobs are cleaning. I think a lot of American homes would be dirty if that was the children’s responsibility! Anyway, I was quite exhausted, and was delighted the next morning when my alarm clock woke me up and not prayer call! What a great start to my birthday! (The past few weeks I have been woken up by prayer call, regardless of what time I went to sleep, and unable to go back to sleep, which makes for a long day.) I was a tad annoyed that I heard people yelling my name. It was some of my homologues children, demanding more oil for the potatoes. I wanted to say, well then don’t use oil, but I didn’t and gave it to them. At work, Trinh brought in pastries. So sweet of her! She also made a card and got everybody to sign it. I got a little emotional, and I don’t know why, but I am so lucky to be in Sikasso with Trinh! The volunteer that is going to replace Trinh has HUGE shoes to fill! For lunch, Linds, Trinh, and I went to a “Tubabu” restaurant. I ordered a chicken sandwich with fries and ketchup, but inside of giving me fries, they put the ketchup on the sandwich, and disregarded the fries. Oh, the joys of communication! That afternoon, I read trashy magazines (i.e. Cosmo). It was great. I then got ready for my birthday party, and then Trinh and Calita came over. Trinh got me some fabric, and Calita made my cake. (That morning, Linds gave me some jewellery.)

My homologue, me, and his wife

We then went over to my homologues house. It was fantastic! Some of the kids got dressed up for my birthday party! I played cards before dinner. There is a Malian game called 151, and I am terrible! I hope to improve. We then had a lovely dinner of chicken, green beans, and potatoes. I was delighted that 2 SED PC workers could come, Mackie and Mama. It was a really fun day. I slept so well that night! This past Saturday, I met with a local village

Lye and me

to discuss their well problem. I was encouraged to see about 50 people came. Many of their wells are dried up. The women also have to get up 3ish to get water for their husbands’ morning bathes. Because I am in a city, I really forgot that men and women sit separately during meetings in rural settings. I was so culturally sensitive when I made a joke, are the men scared of the women? I fortunately forgot the word for scared, but my tutor explained to me that it’s cultural. Way to go, Lala. At the beginning, one man said, look at the women. They are exhausted. The have to get up so early to get us water, and clean and cook. We need more working wells. Sometimes, I have to tell the American in me to chill because I really wanted to say, would it be that hard if you swept the house every once in a while when your wife is getting your water?!? Or maybe, because men are generally physically stronger than women (even though I got really angry in elementary school when teachers would pick boys to lift the heavy boxes; I really could have taken them on with my gymnasts’ strength. Seriously!), get your own water? Just another example of why I would be single the rest of my life if I opted to stay in Mali. Anyway, we established that the community needs more working wells, and got a committee lined up. On Sunday, the committee and I met again. We are going to apply for funding, but my tutored informed me today that he hasn’t gathered the necessary information yet, so we will have to wait until the next deadline because we will probably miss this deadline. I might also check into some other organizations to see if they can help. I reiterated the point to the community that the community has to contribute 33%, so I hope they understand.

(I really want to write “Confidential to Anonymous” just like Dear Abby, but I’ll resist;)

In addressing the question about the marriage proposals, I asked other volunteers and we discussed this with 2 Malian men.
One Asian American said that white woman is constantly portrayed as uppers in literature. I didn’t think about that, but I can definitely see her point.
One white volunteer said that when she got a marriage proposal, she said, I don’t know about taking you back to American. He said, America? Who said anything about America? You’ll stay here with me. So, it is not every man’s intention of going back to the States. I’m sure some people think about it, but often they see America as big, rich, and full of opportunities, but they don’t consider all of the wonderful aspects of Malian culture that they would miss. I would imagine when Malians do go to America, they are often overwhelmed and may even prefer the simple life. (Sometimes, I imagine taking a Malian to Disney World, show them a drive through window, or even just a grocery store. I can’t even imagine!)
I asked the men that perhaps some men proposal simply because of the curiousness of being with someone so different from them? They said that was definitely possible. They also said that the older men are joking (thank goodness because sometimes I want to say “seriously gramps”?) One of the Malian men spent some time in America and said Americans really know how to love. But, Malian women just want to know if you’ll buy them a cell phone, new clothes, etc. But, I think this is also different because of so many reasons! Malian men pay money to the girls’ father to get married to her. I explained that the girls’ father typically pays for the wedding, a concept that most Malians were dismayed with. Also, I like to think that in the States (for most couples anyway, or at least I like to think it works this way), couples give and take. Sometimes, a spouse has to make some sacrifices to make the marriage work. But essentially, each person is concerned about their spouse and how they are feeling, what they like, etc. In my short time here, I feel that relationships are definitely viewed differently here.

Calita, me, Trinh, and Lindsay: Birthday 2008